An SIA World Service Conference Roundtable Discussion:
(A Part of Chapter 1 “Of Victimage & Protection; The Many Traits & Coping Mechanisms Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors in Hope Heals: The SIA Gold Book)
Purpose: To create text for the SIA Big Book, Hope Heals
The SIA WSC Literature Committee & Big Book Subcommittee is seeking your assistance in making our dream of an SIA Big Book come to life. To help with the creation of this text, we are conducting a series of discussions by experienced SIA members about various chapters in the book. You may listen in and participate in these discussions. Each discussion will be 2 ½ hours in length and non-speaker panel members are encouraged to participate during the last portion of the meeting. Additionally, all SIA members are encouraged to share their experience, strength and hope in written form with the committee.*
Date: Sunday, May 5, 2013
4:00 P.M. – 6:30 P.M. Eastern Time
1:00- 3:30 P.M. Pacific Time
To Participate: Dial 1-626-677-3000; then press 673296 #
*Speakers are needed for this panel. Please contact Karin @ firstname.lastname@example.org
to express your interest.
Topic Background & Questions
Panelists Will Address
Sunday, May 5: Ism-Work: How to Use Desires to Act Out to Facilitate Healing From the Wounds of Childhood Sexual Abuse
There are many “Ism's” in the world of recovery. Many survivors of incest have or know someone that has an addiction to some form of mood altering chemical. Mood altering chemicals includes love addiction, sexual additions and food addictions. A survivor usually uses a mood altering chemical or behavior to negate or create a feeling. When the incest survivor is sad they drink because they think it makes them feel better or they eat and then purge because the food makes them feel full and fills up the emptiness they feel. Or another incest survivor is a sex addict because it is the only way they know how to be intimate with another human being or another survivor is addicted to unhealthy relationships because they feel they do not deserve any better. No matter what the chemical or behavior is it never is enough to fill the emptiness and loneliness the survivor feels. To enter into true recovery in SIA the survivor needs to address their addictions and come to terms with their true feelings. This is a scary endeavor for any survivor. Feelings are scary and filled with many unknown twists and turns. It is very easy to slip back into old behaviors when the feelings become too intense. This can lead to feelings of guilt and shame that kicks in the vicious victim cycle that can include deep depressions, huge mood swings and suicidal feelings. It is very easy at this point for the survivor to abandon recovery and return to old behaviors. The key to making it through this phase is to build a toolbox full of supports and tools to get you through. With these supports the survivor can face their fears and evolve into a joyous survivor. Supports can include 12 Step meetings, sponsors, literature and other recovery tools. There can be conflict at this time between what is asked for in the 12 Step program for the survivors addiction and SIA. It is key for the survivor to find a sponsor, therapist or treatment buddy to help them manage both problems at the same time. The road is tough but it's sure worth it in the long run. This roundtable will address how ism's can be both helpful and harmful to the survivor. How isms can help the survivor cope to make it through the process of recovery or how they can hinder by distracting from the process of recovery. The questions are general to give the speaker a chance to speak from their truth and share their recovery with you.
Questions for Consideration
1) Why do you think one develops ism's?
2) Why do you think your isms were created?
3) Did they help or hurt you growing up? In what ways?
4) How did your ism's assist or hurt your recovery?
5) When or did you notice them starting to create problems in your overall life?
6) When you entered recovery how did you manage your ism's?
7) How did you manage your ism's concurrently with your SIA recovery?
8) Did you have any problems managing the two?
9) What do you do now to manage stress instead of turning to your ism's?
10) Do you see any role now for your ism's in your recovery?
11) How do the 12 Steps fit into your recovery? (you can focus on the 12 Steps as a whole or one particular step)
12) How do the 12 Promises fit into your recovery?
Sunday, June 2: Exploration of Two Issues: Covert Incest & Problems for the Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor Created by Family Members that Were Not Sexual Perpetrators